To Whom it May Concern;
Sometime last year, I certified my backyard with the National Wildlife Federation as a Wildlife Habitat. Shortly after my contact information entered the NWF database, I began to receive a barrage of mail from non-profits of all shapes and sizes (that would be you*), often with enclosed free stuff, and all with one ultimate goal: to solicit donations.
Now, I have no problem with this, in itself. You're nonprofits, after all - never asking for donations would be suspicious, at best. However, I feel it is my responsibility to warn you that I am a student (and, honestly, a bit of a spendthrift). What little money I have, I spend on books.**
In summary, while I apprecitate everything you do for the world, you probably shouldn't expect monetary help from me anytime soon - maybe when, you know, I actually get a job. Until then, I will continue to snag the free stuff out of your petitions and solicitations, and toss the rest into the recycling bin.
Sincerely,
[L. W.]
*You know who you are.
**Well, and postage, but that's to get more books. Besides, the decade's supply of return-address labels you've sent me by now only aggravates matters.
Dear [L. W.];
In your letter dated [...], you write:
What little money I have, I spend on books [...] and postage[.]
To this, we reply:
Tree-killer.
Sincerely,
[The Nonprofit Conservationist League]
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